Getting an MS was my dream when I was admitted in hospital in 2005-6. When I was officially out of Pakistan Army in Dec 2006, I was in very desperate situation. The diagnosis of a severe mental illness had shattered me. Schizophrenia plays various tricks with its victims as it will become apparent. I tried
My younger brother was blessed with baby girl on 15 July 2014. The parents were very happy and they accepted my suggestion to name her Zeenia. It is a kind of flower. I have heard the name but it was a poem by Majeed Amjad that was root cause of my suggestion.
This post was long overdue. After my ouster from Pakistan Army there was strong propaganda against me that I somehow planned it. The Commandant of the 503 Workshop, recommended me to the psychiatrist with three main observations: isolation, immotivation and suspicion. I very well question his motive for inventing the isolation clause. If I happened
I have described the strange story of my OER (Officer’s Efficiency Report) in this post. The story of my last OER (for year 2004) is even more interesting as it was due in early 2005 but was never given. This post will describe that wonderful story. From 10 Army Aviation Squadron Quetta, I was posted
While my previous posts were mainly dealing with facts mixed with delusions, this posts will be mainly just facts and a little bit of opinion. I also want to highlight some points regarding the standard of justice in Pakistan Army and the role of intelligence agencies. I have mentioned my redress of grievance against the
In this post I would like to clarify some points. I started this blog in April 2010. The primary aim was to speak my heart out. I was not comfortable with some comments of the psychiatrists. I have mentioned many facts in different posts that never arose in my brief discussions with psychiatrists. Yet they
I started this blog in April 2010. I have come a long way since then. I have tried to be as honest as possible about myself, my past events, people around me and the disease itself. I have tried to differentiate between the delusions and real world events. I thought that my previous post would
I think this would be the last post on my illness. The main purpose of this post is to analyze myself with respect to the disease. I will also try to review my major delusions and clarify some points.
I started writing quotations when I was studying in College of Aeronautical Engineering. Here I will reproduce them in same order. I struck out some quotations during my delusional thinking periods. This is explained in the end.
This is in continuation of my previous post. In that post I discussed my main delusions during my relapse. In this post I will narrate my other delusions and little incidents responsible for my delusional thinking. One of the most stimulating cause was visual hallucinations that I discussed in this post. I was not in