I will finish the religious delusions part by mentioning my thoughts on one important major sign of Last hour i.e. the Beast. As I narrated in an earlier post that I came close to declaring myself the Beast. Major signs are events of extraordinary nature prophesied by our Prophet to take place before Last Hour like all the events mentioned in the following hadith narrated by Hudhaifa ibn Usayd that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, ‘The last hour will not arrive till you have seen ten signs. He then mentioned the Smoke, Dajjal, Beast, Rising of the Sun from the place of it’s setting, the Descent of Jesus Christ (PBUH), Ya’juj Ma’juj, Three Landslides, one in the East , one in the West and one in the Arabian Peninsula after that a Fire would spread from Yemen and drive the people to their place of gathering.’ This sign is also mentioned in the Holy Quran. Allah says in Quran in Surah An-Naml.
And when the Word (of torment) is fulfilled against them, We shall bring out from the earth a Beast to them, which will speak to them because mankind believed not with certainty in Our Verses. (27:82)
The main reason for this belief was PMA incident and subsequent recovery of list from the Indian spy. I imagined that the list separated the true believers from non believers. I imagined that I came under active surveillance of intelligence agencies especially Pakistani, Indian and American after this incident. In early 2002, I was serving in Rawalpindi. Some Americans were also working in the unit. An officer warned me to beware of them as there might be some CIA agents in them. In 2003, in Quetta, there were Americans in neighboring squadron. Same officer repeated the same warning. I came to know that my ‘redress of grievances’ against the commanding officer was investigated by intelligence agencies. An American showed a slight interest and shared my concern about the situation. Was I really under surveillance?
I imagined that people were observing me from some religious perspective and the Beast might be one of them. I thought that people were too interested in discussing various personalities with me. They tried to modify my opinion sometime. One incident I clearly remember. I became an admirer of Indian actress Prietty Zenta in 2000. One officer made very bad remarks about her. I thought that he did that to deter me. Despite this the song ‘Jane Kyun Loog’ from movie ‘Dil Chahta Hai’ remains one of my favorite songs.
Hadiths describe that the Beast would be an extra ordinary animal. I thought that for Beast to speak, it must be some kind of human being. Humans are after all social animals. Moreover all living things come out of earth indirectly. I developed these opinions after reading the verse from Holy Quran. I kept this opinion about myself to be Beast for about a week. Then I shifted this opinion to another person in my family.
My grandfather had two sons and two daughters. Due to some reasons, one son i.e. my uncle opted to become Shia Muslim. On 7 July 1976, a baby boy was born in their home. His elder brothers’ names were Kaleem and Naeem. It was expected that the name would be in same rhythm. My grandfather remained adamant that he be named Ali. So he was named Ali Safdar. My uncle’s name is Ghulam Safdar Khan. I was born on 6 September 1977 as first child of my parents. My grandfather named me Badar Abbas. Abbas was name of his brother who died young. Many people take me as Shia Muslim due to the name though I am a Sunni Muslim. The name of my father is Muhammad Aslam Khan. As the time passed, my cousin turned out to be mentally disabled and me a bit intelligent. He is totally dependent on others. In 2005, I started looking at this episode trough different angle. He expresses his disliking or liking to persons or things through meaningful words, sentences and emotions. All of a sudden I got convinced that he was the Beast mentioned in Holy Quran. I thought that my grandfather being Jesus Christ (PBUH) was given this miracle to ease his task.
In 2009, the visual hallucinations reignited my earlier delusions. I had seen a glimpse of a major sign of Last Hour. I again started thinking that one of them, or possibly both were the Beast. After all I had an extraordinary disease. My current view is normal. The Beast will be an extra ordinary animal. After the sun rises from west, the door of repentance would be closed. Then the Beast will appear to distinguish the believers from the non-believers completing the aim of closing the door of repentance. God knows better.